August 08, 2025 | Read Online​

Deliberate Discomfort – The Foundational Personal Growth Hack

The hotel phone jolted me from sleep at 5am. “Gary wants you to join him on stage for the Vision Speech.” My heart slammed the emergency stop button. The Vision Speech was the 90-minute economic keynote I’d been helping Gary prepare. It was the kickoff for our annual convention with around 7,000 attendees. I’d never done a mainstage presentation. And I had three and a half hours to prepare.

I immediately imagined all the agonizing ways I would publicly humiliate myself. Psychologists call this “catastrophizing.” Sadly, my imagination wasn’t far off. For the entire presentation, I couldn’t understand anything Gary said. The sound system was creating a confusing echo. I was hearing Gary's words in real-time mixed with their delayed bounce from the back of the hall. Every time he asked me a question, I pretended to understand like a grandfather who forgot his hearing aids, faking his way through a family meal. “When I look at this slide, I see [insert safe observation about the slide].”

I sweated through my sport coat and survived the longest 90 minutes of my professional life.
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Backstage after the presentation, still amped on adrenaline, I explained what had happened and angrily demanded, “Don’t ever do that to me again.”

“I can’t promise that,” he replied. “You want to be a best-selling author. Well, guess what. You need to get used to speaking in front of big audiences.”

Said differently, if you want to grow, you have to get comfortable being uncomfortable.

That started a journey of deliberate discomfort. I made a commitment to speak in front of an audience at least once a month. I volunteered at every meeting. I booked classes at area offices. I signed up for classes on presenting and put in the uncomfortable reps. Eventually, I got comfortable. Earlier this year, I spoke in front of over 15,000. Was I nervous? Absolutely. But I wasn’t terrified and did just fine.

Every time we do something that's a little bit scary, a tad uncomfortable, we expand our comfort zone. Just a little bit. We often can't perceive it in the moment, but the more we do it, the bigger that comfort zone becomes.

What are you avoiding even though you know it would help you grow?

Five Steps to Expand Your Comfort Zone

1. Choose one area where you avoid discomfort that would help you grow.
2. Identify the smallest possible step you could regularly take.
3. Start in a safe, supportive environment.
4. Schedule it (starting this week).
5. Do it and notice what happens.

The key is to start small, be consistent, and gradually increase the challenge. Start alone, with friends, or with trusted coworkers. I do not recommend launching your public speaking career in front of five thousand!

You’re not trying to become fearless. You’re building the muscle to act in spite of your fear. Every small act of deliberate discomfort is an investment in your future confidence and capability.
One question to ponder in your thinking time: What could I accomplish if I weren’t afraid?

Make an Impact!
Jay Papasan
​Co-author of The ONE Thing & The Millionaire Real Estate Agent

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