July 17, 2026 | Read Online​

The Goo Stage

If you've raised a child, you've read The Very Hungry Caterpillar. Probably 237 times. If not, spoiler alert! A caterpillar eats its way through apples, plums, and one questionable pickle. Then it spins a cozy cocoon*, naps for two weeks, and emerges as a beautiful butterfly.

Here's what the book leaves out. The caterpillar isn't knitting tiny wings inside its cozy home. It's dissolving. It basically digests itself into goo. Actual goo. Only then does it rebuild into something new.

I learned this from my friend Steve Kamb on this week's podcast when he talked about his new book, How to Try Again. Steve also founded Nerd Fitness and has helped millions of people change their habits. He calls the goo “the perfect metaphor for how difficult change is.”

You have to break down the old you before the new you shows up. And the middle is not pretty.

I've lived this. When we launched our first ONE Thing course, the sales copy promised “less stress.” Then the surveys came back from our first two cohorts. We were actually ramping up their stress. I was surprised at first. But then I realized change is stressful, even when it's the change we seek. Everything familiar gets unfamiliar. We stray outside our comfort zones.

We deleted the “less stress” selling point and started preparing students for the “goo stage.” It was the right move. Most people quit in the goo stage because they mistake the mess for failure. It's not. It's the middle. It’s the door you have to go through to get where you want to be.

“We don't need to succeed with more discipline,” Steve shared. “We need to fail with more compassion.” Grit got you into the chrysalis. Grace gets you through it.

So if you're in the goo stage now – new role, new habit, new season – and it feels ugly, take heart. Ugly is on schedule.

If you missed my conversation with Steve, click here to listen. His four-step framework for starting over (he calls it making a PACT) is worth the ride alone.

One question to ponder in your thinking time: Where am I mistaking the messy stage for failure?

Make an Impact!
Jay Papasan
Author I CEO I Coach
​
* Technically, butterflies form a chrysalis, not a cocoon. Moths emerge from cocoons. Eric Carle knew this. But his dad would often say, “Eric, come out of your cocoon.” He kept “cocoon” and later explained, “And so poetry won over science.”

Not subscribed? Become a Twenty Percenter here.
Like our content? Share with a friend:
​https://www.thetwentypercenter.com/?p=884​
Share on Social:

​​