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February 13, 2026 | Read Online

The Solomon Paradox

University of Waterloo psychological scientist Igor Grossmann studies wisdom. He explores the times when we make good and bad decisions. If knowledge is the gathering of information. Wisdom comes from using that information well.
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Grossmann conducted a study where participants were asked to reason through a scenario involving an unfaithful partner. Some imagined their own partner had cheated. Others imagined a friend's partner had. The results? People reasoned substantially more wisely about a friend's problem than their own.
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He called it the “Solomon Paradox.”

If you remember the Biblical figure Solomon, he was famous for his otherworldly wisdom. Monarchs traveled great distances for his counsel. He unified his country and enjoyed a reign of unparalleled prosperity. But his personal life was a disaster. He had 700 wives and 300 concubines. Dude? What were you thinking? And he fell into idolatry. For his country, Solomon made amazing decisions. For himself, not so much.
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We’re the same way.

That’s why when we’re faced with a tough decision, a wise friend will ask: What advice would you give your child in the same circumstances? Grossmann would call this “self-distancing” and point out that it increases wise decision-making.

This is one reason business owners need a coach. When we file for our business entity, there should be a checkbox.
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☐ I, the undersigned, being of sound mind and questionable judgment, do hereby affirm that I shall retain a qualified coach for the duration of this enterprise, understanding that failure to do so may result in:

• Preventable blind spots
• Avoidable disasters, and
• An alarming number of decisions made at 2AM.

For the past twenty years, I’ve never been without one, just occasionally “between coaches.” Coaches give us the gift of perspective. We are caught up in our business and our lives. We often fail to see the bigger picture. We fall prey to Solomon’s Paradox daily. Coaches matter.

One question to ponder in your thinking time: What's a decision I'm struggling with right now that I could easily solve for someone else?
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​Make an Impact!
Jay Papasan
Co-author of The ONE Thing, The Millionaire Real Estate Agent & author of The Rookie Real Estate Agent
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P.S. If a decision came to mind while you were reading this—one you'd solve easily for someone else but can't quite crack for yourself—you're living the paradox.

Our executive coaching practice exists to solve exactly that problem. It's a significant investment and we only work with a handful of leaders at a time. If you're curious whether it's right for you, here's how it works.

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