December 26, 2025 | Read Online​

Permission to Pause

My friend Jen Davis led one of the largest coaching companies in real estate. She was great at it. Then, in June 2024, she stepped away.

When I asked her why, she shared a question that had stopped her cold: “Would you rather be special or happy?”

Jen realized she'd spent her entire career chasing special — titles, milestones, recognition — assuming happiness would follow. It didn't. She was at her daughter's cross-country meets. She was at her son's basketball games. But she wasn't present. Her body showed up while her mind rehearsed tomorrow's meetings. She got sick. And in that forced stillness, she finally had space to think.

“I know how to create boundaries,” she told me. “Somehow, I hadn't.”

She gave herself permission to pause. Not stop. Not quit. Pause.

What she discovered surprised her. She'd structured time off but didn’t actually pause. Her bucket list of family activities just became a new to-do list. "I had structured time off,” she said. “I hadn't really structured pause.” The internal work she needed to do was still waiting.

When I asked her what she'd tell her former self — the one running a million miles an hour — her answer was practical. Start with 15 minutes at the beginning of your day. Not to plan. Not to check email. To think. That's it. Set a timer. Put your phone across the room. Be alone with your thoughts.

Fifteen minutes. That's a promise anyone can keep to themselves.

Jen said something else that stuck with me. When you have time to prepare, when you have time to think, people get a better version of you. Not the watered-down, stressed-out, five-minutes-late version. The real one.

Most of us won't take a more than seven-month pause from our careers like Jen. But we can carve out 15 minutes. And that small island of control has a way of growing. It becomes a beachhead. First, you take the beach, then you take back your calendar.

Jen and I go much deeper on this in the latest episode of The ONE Thing Podcast, dropping Monday. We talk about identity, the trap of chasing “special,” and how to start building margin into your life. It’s worth a listen.

One question to ponder in your thinking time: What would change if I gave myself permission to pause?

Make an Impact!
Jay Papasan
Co-author of The ONE Thing, The Millionaire Real Estate Agent & author of The Rookie Real Estate Agent

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